It's my birthday ... where are you JAKE RYAN, leaning against a shiny red Porsche mouthing "yeah you" while the Thompson Twins play softly in the background?!
While I love the movie Sixteen Candles, and would definitely not mind a visit from the fictional Jake Ryan outside my house to greet me with a birthday surprise, I am not exactly celebrating my sweet 16. It's my birthday once again, and while still in my 20s, I must admit that it always makes me a little uneasy ever year I get older. My birthday tends to cause me more anxiety than adulation. Age may just be a number, but sometimes I crave the open opportunities and lack of responsibilities that came with my late teenage years. As you get into your late 20s, you are a "real" adult (or so they say hehe), and at times I feel as though I am not as far along as I should be, want to be - still confused or curious about where this life is actually taking me, still desirous of some adventure while simutaneously feeling a need for stability.
If there could be the perfect sentiment for how I feel it would be by Ethan Hawk's character Jesse from Before Sunrise - "I always think that I’m
still this 13-year old boy (girl in my case) that doesn’t really know how to be an adult,
pretending to live my life, taking notes for when I’ll really have to do it."
But I am healthy, have good friends, a wonderful family - I am lucky. And with that said I should respect and cherish each day I get to wake up to those precious gifts. So this year I am trying to stay positive about my life moving forward, trying to get excited about the future instead of fearful - celebrating how far I have come instead of disregarding all that has come before. And even if there is a bit of me "pretending" to be an adult, a pretext in my attitude, what is the old saying - "If you can fake it you can make it."
Heres to a new birthday, new beginnings, new attitude, a new me!
Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!
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