It's Like Tiffany's ... A Place Where Me And Things Go Together

Holly Golightly: He's all right! Aren't you, cat? Poor cat! Poor slob! Poor slob without a name! The way I see it I haven't got the right to give him one. We don't belong to each other. We just took up one day by the river. I don't want to own anything until I find a place where me and things go together. I'm not sure where that is but I know what it is like. It's like Tiffany's. 

...

Paul Varjak: Holly, I'm in love with you. 
Holly Golightly: So what? 
Paul Varjak: So what? So plenty! I love you. You belong to me. 
Holly Golightly: No. People don't belong to people. 
Paul Varjak: Of course they do. 
Holly Golightly: I'm not going to let anyone put me in a cage. 
Paul Varjak: I don't want to put you in a cage. I want to love you. 
Holly Golightly: It's the same thing. 
Paul Varjak: No it's not. Holly... 
Holly Golightly: I'm not Holly. I'm not Lula Mae, either. I don't know who I am! I'm like cat here, a couple of no-name slobs. We belong to nobody and nobody belongs to us. We don't even belong to each other. 

Paul Varjak: You know what's wrong with you, Miss Whoever-you-are? You're chicken, you've got no guts. You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. And it's not bounded in the west by Tulip, Texas, or in the east by Somali-land. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself. 

...

I recently watched Breakfast at Tiffany's for like the 20th time the other day.  It is one of my favorite movies, from Audrey Hepburn's fashion to her character's relatable fragility and fractured persona, I just really love watching the story's progression with each viewing.


The story brings up many of life ideals that so many of us can relate to.  Like Audrey's character, I have had my own confusion and struggles between feeling the need for stability (for a place where me and things go together, for a person for whom I belong) in my life while simultaneously having the desire, the proclivity for independence and a lack of life's restraint.


There are times when I am exhausted by the feeling of needing to withdraw from places and things, even people at times, as my identity wavers in its search for its true self.  Sometimes it just feels easier to abandon certain relationships and responsibilities that seem to hamper the ability for that search, that seem to jeopardize that freedom - that seem to "cage" me into a certain state of being.


And the part that is constantly meandering, straying, searching for a place to belong is subsequently overwhelmed by a feeling that perhaps I do not have a "home" in this vast world, that perhaps I can never conform properly in this society.  That maybe I will never own anything, "belong to anything or anyone," because I have placed a "cage" around myself, can never run away from myself.  That part of me has created a longing for something that may not exist, a life that may not exist - that may not really be what I want.

And the truth is "belonging to someone and somewhere" is not really something to be trying to run from - rather it is probably something to be trying to run towards, strive towards.  That is the beauty of living this life isn't it - the true definition of living "free and uncaged" - the connection to something and someone outside of yourself. Love, familiarity, memories, affection, appreciation, respect, commonality - human connection, that is truly life's emancipation and independence - for the true act of self-governing is to feel for something beyond oneself.  "You discover that your longings are universal longings, that you're not lonely and isolated from anyone. You belong." 


And like Audrey's character Holly GoLightly, who described herself as a "wild thing," eventually opening herself imposed cage by allowing another person access to her heart, I too hope not to tame my "wild, unrestrained" nature but rather share it with a person and a place that makes me feel like I too belong.